http://www.feministing.com
So after yet another friend told me that she was raped a week ago, seeing this video just made me crazy! Why are rape jokes and metaphors acceptable, or considered funny? I don't understand how having a hard test is anywhere equivalent to the reality of rape. I know that sometimes we tend to go a bit overboard on what is "politically correct," but I don't think anyone could argue that language and our use of it demonstrates much about the mentality of a culture. Thoughts anyone?
-Meg
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
How to find contentment?
It seems I have spent lots of time lately thinking about my life and wondering what is missing. It's like I'm never happy with where I'm at, I don't feel that I'm accomplishing as much as I should be...I feel like I'm just wasting time, letting days go by, and somehow I have lost my motivation, I've lost what makes me happy. Will I ever find contentment? Do you feel truly happy with where you're at in your life? Is this just the result of too much deep thought? I'd like some insight on this. How do you really enjoy every day and live life to the fullest? How do you accomplish your goals and reach your dreams without overworking yourself-- while still enjoying time with your friends and family and getting enough sleep? I have the hardest time prioritizing "living life to the fullest" when there is the need to be "responsible" at the same time. Can I have both? I hate seeing adults who, in the midst of working hard to make a life for themselves, have forgotten to enjoy life and keep exploring, and in a way, I think it's made me afraid to take that leap into adulthood and responsibility. I don't want to lose my zest for life and love in the process.
So this is what I'm struggling with. Do you have any advice?
-Christine
So this is what I'm struggling with. Do you have any advice?
-Christine
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Are You Centered?
To be centered is considered desirable. But if there is no person inside your head, if the ego’s sense of I, me, mine is illusory, where’s the center? Paradoxically, the center is everywhere. It is the open space that has no boundaries.
Experience isn’t a place; it’s a focus of attention. You can live there, at the still point around which everything revolves. To be off center is to lose focus, to look away from experience or block it out.
To be centered is like saying “I want to find my home in creation.” You relax into the rhythm of your own life, which sets the stage for meeting yourself at a deeper level. You can’t summon the silent witness, but you can place yourself close to it by refusing to get lost in your own creation.
When I find myself being overshadowed by anything, I can fall back on a few simple steps: I say to myself, “This situation may be shaking me, but I am more than any situation.” I take a deep breath and focus my attention on whatever my body is feeling. I step back and see myself as another person would see me (preferably the person whom I am resisting or reacting to.) I realize that my emotions are not reliable guides to what is permanent and real. They are momentary reactions, and most likely they are born of habit. If I am about to burst out with uncontrollable reactions, I walk away.
As you can see, I don’t try to feel better, to be more positive, to come from love, or to change the state I’m in. If you can observe the mechanism at work without getting wrapped up in it, you will find that you possess a second perspective, one that is always calm, alert, detached, tuned in but not overshadowed. That second place is your center. It isn’t a place at all but a close encounter with the silent witness.
Adapted from The Book of Secrets, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2004).
Experience isn’t a place; it’s a focus of attention. You can live there, at the still point around which everything revolves. To be off center is to lose focus, to look away from experience or block it out.
To be centered is like saying “I want to find my home in creation.” You relax into the rhythm of your own life, which sets the stage for meeting yourself at a deeper level. You can’t summon the silent witness, but you can place yourself close to it by refusing to get lost in your own creation.
When I find myself being overshadowed by anything, I can fall back on a few simple steps: I say to myself, “This situation may be shaking me, but I am more than any situation.” I take a deep breath and focus my attention on whatever my body is feeling. I step back and see myself as another person would see me (preferably the person whom I am resisting or reacting to.) I realize that my emotions are not reliable guides to what is permanent and real. They are momentary reactions, and most likely they are born of habit. If I am about to burst out with uncontrollable reactions, I walk away.
As you can see, I don’t try to feel better, to be more positive, to come from love, or to change the state I’m in. If you can observe the mechanism at work without getting wrapped up in it, you will find that you possess a second perspective, one that is always calm, alert, detached, tuned in but not overshadowed. That second place is your center. It isn’t a place at all but a close encounter with the silent witness.
Adapted from The Book of Secrets, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2004).
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Every person...
Every person should have...
...enough money within their control to move out and rent a place of their own, even if they never wants to or needs to
...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of their dreams wants to see them in an hour
Every person should have...
...a youth they're content to leave behind
...a past juicy enough that they're looking forward to retelling it in their old age
...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and sexy underwater
...one friend who always makes them laugh and one who lets them cry
Every person should have...
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make their guests feel honored
Every person should have...
...a feeling of control over their destiny
Every person should know...
...how to fall in love without losing themselves
Every person should know...
...how to quit a job
...break up with a lover
...confront a friend without; ruining the friendship
Every person should know...
...when to try harder and WHEN TO WALK AWAY
Every person should know...
...that they can't change the length of their calves, the width of their shoulders, the size of their bra cup or length of their...
Every person should know...
...what they would and wouldn't do for love
...how to live alone
Every person should know...
...whom they can trust and whom they can't and why they shouldn't take it personally
Every person should know...
...where to go...
...be it to their best friend's kitchen table..
...or out in the woods...
...or at a bar
...when their soul needs soothing...
Every person should know...
...what they can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year...
...enough money within their control to move out and rent a place of their own, even if they never wants to or needs to
...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of their dreams wants to see them in an hour
Every person should have...
...a youth they're content to leave behind
...a past juicy enough that they're looking forward to retelling it in their old age
...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and sexy underwater
...one friend who always makes them laugh and one who lets them cry
Every person should have...
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make their guests feel honored
Every person should have...
...a feeling of control over their destiny
Every person should know...
...how to fall in love without losing themselves
Every person should know...
...how to quit a job
...break up with a lover
...confront a friend without; ruining the friendship
Every person should know...
...when to try harder and WHEN TO WALK AWAY
Every person should know...
...that they can't change the length of their calves, the width of their shoulders, the size of their bra cup or length of their...
Every person should know...
...what they would and wouldn't do for love
...how to live alone
Every person should know...
...whom they can trust and whom they can't and why they shouldn't take it personally
Every person should know...
...where to go...
...be it to their best friend's kitchen table..
...or out in the woods...
...or at a bar
...when their soul needs soothing...
Every person should know...
...what they can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year...
Monday, November 2, 2009
Humanity
We set an example in all that we say and do. Make that example a good one.
-----
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended...
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.veryone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball- the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day,' said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.'
'Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!'
**
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats its least fortunate amongst them.
-----
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended...
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.veryone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball- the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day,' said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.'
'Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!'
**
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats its least fortunate amongst them.
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